One Happy

Create Intentional Happiness


So true, Yoda. Fear, anger, hate, and other negative emotions harm us more than we may realize.  Like a dementor in the Harry Potter series, they can suck the happiness, and literally, the life right out of us. They are thieves, methodically robbing us of our health and happiness. Just like dementors, they sense and feed on positive feelings, draining their victim’s happiness. Only when the dementors die can the stolen happiness be released so a person can fully live again.

Zig Ziglar describes FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real.  Fear has derailed more dreams than you can imagine.  The main problem that people face when it comes to their fears is that they cling to the fear because it has become a part of who they are emotionally. Manifested physically, fear causes racing hearts, stomach knots, and stress. 

Dwelling on ANGRY THOUGHTS consumes our brain such that the body becomes the mind of anger and the stored negative energy creates a corresponding biological effect of a weakened immune system and digestive problems.

HATE and resentment are strong emotions, poisoning our spirits, and robbing us of our health and relationships.   When we hate, we frequently allow the object of our hate to control us by directing our actions in obstructive ways.  Hate weakens us emotionally and makes our body more vulnerable to sickness and disease by compromising our immune system.

Self-hatred, and often, low self-esteem leads us to believe we are somehow “less,” and our mind and body begin to accept that we must be lacking. What’s particularly difficult about overcoming self-loathing is that we can’t avoid the hater. We can’t hide from ourselves.

The Modus Operandi (M.O.) of the Three Thieves

When we replay negative emotions in our minds, our unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between emotions created by the memory alone and the original experience that actually created the emotion.  So the brain produces the same chemistry as if the event is really happening.

Negative emotions work by causing biochemical reactions in our brain that release chemical signals to the physical body, that then feed those same harmful feelings back to the brain reinforcing and creating more of the same negative thoughts and emotions.  This vicious cycle eventually hard wires our brain into low-frequency neurological patterns that adversely condition our physical body, unfavorably drive our future assumptions, experiences and self-image, and destroy our happiness.

The good news is, this M.O. holds true for positive thoughts and emotions too, and can work to our benefit by creating coherence, harmony and high-frequency neurological patterns within our body and mind. How do we do this?

Consider the tale of the two wolves….

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. He tell the boy,. “A fight is going on inside me, between two wolves. One is evil – he is fear, anger, guilt, hate, envy, regret, and resentment. The other is good – he is gratitude, love, forgiveness, peace, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.” 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win? 

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

We have a choice about which wolf we feed. We can liberate ourselves from these thieves of happiness. Now that we have awareness, we can change our thoughts. We can recondition our mind with high-frequency positive emotions, and thus release the trapped negative energy for more positive purposes that improve our health and attract more happiness into our lives.

Feeding the good wolf.

Here are five ideas on how to feed the good wolf and hard wire your brain for happiness and well-being.

1. Express angry feelings in appropriate ways. Bottling up emotions can make you feel worse.

  • When you are angry, address the cause with the intention of resolving it rather than perpetuating it. Identify the specific reason for your anger, and focus on specific solutions, Recognize and accept when you have no control over an issue that you are angry about, then place your efforts in a more positive direction and move on.

2. Embrace your fears.

  • Fear of failure is common. Celebrate failure, fail fast and move on. What  we call failure, is really success in disguise. It’s one more thing we can add to our repertoire of what not to do.  It’s another data point to add to our efforts leading up to where we plan to be.  If you never try, you won’t fail.  Trying is how you get to success.  Convert your losses into success by drawing on your experiences.
  • When you start to feel scared or fearful, switch your thoughts over to what you are thankful for. For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, be thankful when you get the opportunity, because people are interested in what you have to say. Identify your specific fear and understand how it limits you from doing something you want to do or affects your happiness. Embrace your fears intelligently.

3. Take control of your thoughts and emotions.

  • Remember that hate can hurt you more than it hurts the object of your hate.  Don’t let someone or something else have that kind of destructive power over you. When you have hateful thoughts and feelings, stop, take a deep breath and consciously acknowledge them. You may even repeat the Patronus spell that Harry used to repel dementors – “EXPECTO PATRONUM,”  to remind yourself that you are in control. Then challenge your thoughts. and choose an alternate conscious positive thought and action. Combat the dementors by focusing on the happy memories in your life.
  • Make the best out of every situation. When you are able to turn challenges into opportunities, life unfolds in a very beautiful way. Be so busy loving your life that you have no room for fear, anger, hate or other negative emotions that will rob you of your health and happiness.
  • Let go of things in your life that create negative stress. Focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life rather than obsessing over problems that lead to negative feelings.  Research has shown that having a positive outlook can improve your quality of life and give your health a boost.
  • You may want to use  a gratitude journal to keep track of things that make you feel happy or peaceful. Gratitude is the first step toward manifesting happiness. Elevated emotions like gratitude, love, forgiveness, and happiness enrich our lives and have a higher and faster frequency than negative emotions of fear, anger and hate that diminish our lives.

4. Meditate

  • Meditation, a form of guided thought, can take many forms. For example, you may do it by exercising, breathing deeply, or just taking a walk in the park. When you embrace positive thoughts, feelings, and emotions through meditation the body will respond as though the conditions you are manifesting have already taken place and will create internal balance of our heart, brain and nervous system. The benefits to our health, well-being and relationships by creating internal balance through meditation has been researched and validated by physiologists, psychologists, and medical doctors.

5. Learn to Forgive.

  • Forgive your own past transgressions as well as other’s.  We all have sinned, just in different ways, and we each get to choose our sins. Let go of the past, make amends and forgive yourself for whatever is causing you to dwell on your reasons for disliking yourself. Acknowledge the good things about yourself and celebrate your successes. When you can acknowledge the good in you, it becomes easier to acknowledge the good in others.
  • Forgive those who have wronged you.  Forgiving others does not mean we condone or accept their actions as appropriate. Forgiveness dissolves feelings of anger, distrust and resentment. Only in forgiving others, can we learn to forgive ourselves or expect others to forgive our mistakes. 

Do you think this pretty much nails it?  Let me know your thoughts. 

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